Being the son of a preacher, it was not hard to tell where I was every Sunday. It was not uncommon as I was growing up to see the JOY plaque or have it explained: true joy is putting Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself. Who knew I would be lied to in church.
To find the truth, let's go to the source. What did Jesus say:
36 "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?"
37 And He said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.'
38 "This is the great and foremost commandment.
39 "The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor better than yourself.'
40 "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."
No, wait. The scripture doesn't say "better than". It says love your neighbor AS yourself (for those unfamiliar with this passage, please read the actual text).
We learned a lot about sacrifice in church, but I think this was one of those times it shows we learned it wrong. When you have a sandwich for lunch and you see someone who has nothing, you sacrifice to give him your sandwich. However, if you give all your food away every time you have food you will die. Not only is this bad for you, but it's bad for those you want to help: if you are dead you can no longer serve and help them. Furthermore, sometimes the better gift is not always giving, but helping those that are in need learn to do for themselves.
After all, how are we able to know how to care for those around us when we are not able to care for ourselves. It is the healthy who can heal the sick, not the sick themselves.
It's much like the flight instructions on a plane: if the cabin loses pressure, you must put the mask on yourself before you put it on your children. You must take care of yourself and be healthy, able bodied, and mentally sound before you are best able to help others.
So, in the end, the first part is right: Jesus first, although putting Jesus first is really doing the best for yourself, but that's a subject for another time. However as far as putting yourself last: it's dead wrong. The Bible says so. Jesus said so. Love your neighbor AS yourself. Not greater than, not less then, but equal to.
In the end it's all about the golden rule. What is the value in treating others as you want to be treated if you treat yourself poorly? Part of understanding how to best love and care for others is learning how to best love and care for ourselves. If someone hates themselves won't he (or doesn't he already) hate his fellow man?
So for all you out there that let people walk all over you because you have been told God commands it realize that God has commanded you not to do this, but, as always, don't take my word for it: research it yourself.
I get your post; appreciating the pragmatism but it seems to me that the whole problem is predicated on a poor interpretation of Scripture or someone completely overlooking the text. This seems like a Berean problem to me. You see or hear something that's not Biblical, you counter it and the problem doesn't exist except for those who choose extra-Biblical foundations for their worldview.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kevin's post above - You seem to have misinterpreted the Scriptures and the truths they hold.
ReplyDeleteLoving your neighbor as yourself in one key in understanding God's desire for us to regard others before ourselves - Yet, we are to go further than that and place others (and their needs) before ours.
Jesus Himself said that He "did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:28)
Likewise, He instructed His disciples saying "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." (Mark 9:35a)
Other verses such as Philippians 2:3 and 1 Corinthians 10:24 reinforce the truth that we are to place others before ourselves.
Thus, the acronym JOY = Jesus first, Others next, Yourself last does indeed ring true.
I think the fundamental issue here is the understanding of service. Service does not change worth.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I want to reiterate that this was not a post to ignore service. In fact, it was quite the contrary:
"After all, how are we able to know how to care for those around us when we are not able to care for ourselves."
...
"You must take care of yourself and be healthy, able bodied, and mentally sound before you are best able to help others."
But more importantly, who does service benefit more? For instance, trials are no fun, but those are the times for maximum growth. Who gains more from service? The person who is served or the person who serves? If one person serves a meal to a homeless person, the person who is served the meal gains something temporal - it does not last. The person who served the meal gains something lasting that improves his character. So, service is for the servant, not the recipient.
But God views service different from worth: the servant is of no higher or lower social value than the recipient. However, the world sees it differently: the servant is of lower value than the recipient. So, from a worldly perspective, service would agree with the JOY principle. However, as service does not change worth, as Jesus said: you should love your neighbor as yourself. If you love yourself, you will serve others. Only those that don't love themselves have no value to pass on to others.
As a side note, I spoke to Kevin in a side conversation and his comment about "a poor interpretation of Scripture" was referring to the JOY principle. Notice that he is referring to "the whole problem" (the JOY principle) when he states that. The "Berean problem" refers to groups that come up with principles that end up becoming nearly canonized doctrine in themselves.
Jesus, Others, Yourself is a good motto. By helping someone, you are serving them. You can serve Jesus through your service to others. The point is, do not be self centered. Think of the body and not yourself. Be glad and grateful that you are able to do which ever task, so that someone else doesn't have to do them. I'd suggest the Denying Self sermon by Keith Green. To be a Christian, we are to already be a servant. That is the Christian life. A daily dying to self and being a servant.
ReplyDeleteHi, my name is Joy. My parents gave me that name for their strong belief in the Jesus, Others, and yourself I grew up my whole life with that being drilled into my head (I'm 29) I try my best to change my screwed up way I was raised with this sole belief of self sacrafice and what would Jesus do.... My point being I'm not the product of these teachings ... well ...Way of life
ReplyDeleteI am a door mat!, everyone tells me I'm too nice and reciently I was called an enabeler! Because as they put it ... I just care about others too much!! When I ran across this blog it was an answer to prayer... I just need to find out how to change!
Joy is such a beautiful name. What could be better than Joy?
ReplyDeleteHonestly, being kind to others and treating them as we would treat ourselves is important... crucial... no, it's key to a Christian life. Unfortunately so many misread this and other scriptures to mean that we should be better to others than we are to ourselves. How is that even possible?
If I'm someone who builds houses, I will look for those who have invested time in themselves to become better builders, not those who invested all their time in others and then themselves are lousy builders. For that matter, the person who only helps others get better can only help others up to a point; then the others become better and that person can no longer help because they only had so much to give.
It's just as wrong to treat ourselves poorly for the sake of treating others better as it is to treat others poorly for the sake of treating ourselves better.
Remember, I am just a human, just like everyone else: flawed and imperfect. I can give advice, but you need to do like the Bereans did and measure that against the scriptures.
My advice to you is this: read. Find some books that look helpful and read them. Once again, apply the principle the Bereans did and don't just accept something because the author wrote it, but rightly divide the truth from it. If a book is helpful, find more by that author. If it's not, try something else. And, of course, be constantly reading your Bible. I have used the One Year Bible for many years. In both 2008 and 2009 I read the entire Bible this way (and the Psalms 4 times as it repeats in one year). This year I am cutting back and just reading the New Testament and Proverbs.
Find people who challenge your assumptions but also encourage you. Test everything! Most importantly, don't take my word for it; find out for yourself.
Always keep looking! As Christ said in Matthew 7:7: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Dear Joy,
ReplyDeleteLife can be full of both fulfillment and service. It would take a book to fully speak to the issue raised here, but in a nutshell I believe the key is JESUS first. When our lives are centered around loving Him and experiencing His love for us on a daily basis through studying His word and through prayer, our love to OTHERS flows from the reservoir of His life within us. If we put our love and service to OTHERS first, we are serving from an empty reservoir and our love supply is deficient. Our service to others is being done out of necessity, not out of the flow of His life in us. The key isn’t OJY, but JOY.
As Dave said, loving others AS yourself is a matter of worth, not service. Service flows from that worth we find in God’s love. There must be balance between being and doing or we will burn out never finding the true JOY Christ intended our service to be. We could say that we must BE before we DO. BE, then we are able to DO. You’ve heard the expression dobedobedo. It should be bedobedobe. Otherwise we find ourselves feeling like do-do…a doormat.
Joyce Meyers has written many books broaching such subjects. It may be worth your time and money to check into some of her wonderful advice such as “Beauty for Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing”; “Filled with the Spirit: Understanding God’s Power in Your Life’, etc. You can google Joyce Meyer Books and get a plethora of options. I pray you find the joy and fulfillment you are seeking. Matthew 6:33
HI ,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to add, that Jesus took time away. I don't know scripture off the top of my head, but some times people, crowds were looking for him and he went away.
I see it as some of you wrote we need Jesus first and thru our fullness with him we can help others.
I like to see the J O Y as Jesus Over You, meaning He covered us in our sinfulness.
Hey David,
ReplyDeleteI COMPLETELY agree with this reasoning. It all goes back to the Golden Rule as you said. People seem to think that loving yourself is always a bad thing. I do have one question about a verse I've been wrestling with on this subject. It's Philippians 2:3 where Paul says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."
What does it mean here when he says "consider others better than yourselves?
-Corey
Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
ReplyDeleteMark 9:35 And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.
So you think if you gave someone your sandwich you would starve to death? What kind of logic is that? Jesus told you not to worry about what you would eat or drink or wear. If God tells you to feed someone, you really think you will go without? Quit being so foolish. Oh, Satan and his lies.
ReplyDelete"So you think if you gave someone your sandwich you would starve to death? What kind of logic is that?"
ReplyDeleteIt sounds pretty illogical. It's also the opposite of what I've said. You might want to take a second look.
Philippians 2:3
ReplyDeleteDo nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,